...and I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. No, I don't belong to a support group for such--my healing journey has been on my own with the support of some close friends...I conquered in less than 6 months what most women take years to accomplish. To God be the glory! I will suggest The Courage to Heal as a tremendous book. Find a trusted pastor, counselor, advisor who is willing to read it and help you work through it. When I saw how *thick* it was---I panicked. "I am REALLY sick...!" Not so. There's just tons of great information in there.
What isn't in there, however, and what I stumbled on quite by accident---is the fear of dentists as it relates to the history of abuse. I happened to Google it one night. I was amazed at the information I came up with. Yes, I had a horrible experience with a dentist as a child-he chose to cap a baby tooth for some unknown reason-without Novocaine---I was hysterical, in pain--and he even hit me before it was over! NOT a good first experience, let me tell you! But, as an adult, until my memories surfaced, there was no explanation for my fear of being in a prone position with male so up close and personal--tools and hands and God knows what all in my mouth and no way to communicate. Terrifying to say the least. But once the connection was made, it helped. I sought out a female dentist. God put one in my path who had "anxiety level" on her intake form. I put "off the chart". She asked. I told. I provided her with tons of copies of my research so she could share with other patients like me. She was AWESOME. She told me they could give me a prescription to calm my nerves-I would still be alert, able to communicate-but wouldn't feel anything. She was right. She also informed the staff that my husband was to be given a chair in my room to sit throughout any procedures. They "checked in" with me constantly-asking if I was ok--as oftentimes, with abuse victims, we "freeze" and are unable to communicate when terrified...they worked around that. If I made any indication of needing a "break"--I got/get it. No questions asked. I may take a few extra minutes, but they certainly are accommodating and don't think anything of it.
Now-after sharing all that-you can well imagine what my dental health is like as I was well into my 40's when this "revelation" hit. Even now, I have to confess, brushing and flossing my teeth are a real challenge. Think about it-what's the last thing that happens before you go to bed? Somewhere in my young brain...I equated that ritual with the abuse. If I didn't do that last thing...maybe the abuse wouldn't happen. A if that wasn't bad enough, while mother dear was busy cooking breakfast....so the am brushing wasn't any easier! It's been the toughest part to overcome for me. Gross, I know-but true. Until today. The UPS man brought a box. It had a new toothbrush in it. I read the ad---it's really a mouth brush--and it claimed to have great benefits for those who hate to floss. That would be ME! So I bit the bait. I ripped open the box and tore it out of the package, dashing to the bathroom. Dabbed on the toothpaste and stuck it in the "pie hole". It's AWESOME!!! It's a mouth massage! It worked on the gums, the teeth...my mouth
was is tingling! Just to see-I flossed afterwards---not one intsy tinsy bit of --well you know--came out! It did everything it promised. I cannot wait to use it again!!! I have NEVER been as impressed with any other brush as this one (it's far cheeper--and better-- than the high-dollar Sonicare toothbrush!). Blogger...won't let me upload the photo---but here's the link---one AWESOME toothbrush. This is for the right-handed version. They do make a left-handed one. It's worth it. Trust me!
For anyone reading this, who wants to chat, please send your e-mail address. I feel strongly that the things we go through in life are so that we can grow, overcome, and go on to help others.
Until next time, happy stamping & scrapping--and brushing!. Blessings, Sharon